Elizabeth's Diary 5-23-26 Evening

Good evening, I maid some French Onion Soup for Dinner, it was quite Delectable, I also Uploaded Another Let's Play. Regardless, Folks were Unaware that I Slipped into Littlespace in the Video. Honestly I do that Quite a bit that Most People are quite Unaware of which Mental State I'm in. There are some Subtleties in my Wordings and Mannerisms, I tend to be more Expressive with my Hands and a lot more Enthusiastic.

I played GTA Vice City again and Choose to Listen to Vice City Public Radio, it's quite Humorous and a Majority of the Characters are Parodies of Various Crackpots that Still Hold True to this Day. I find the Happy go Lucky Positive Speaker to be quite Hilarious. It's due to the Absurdity of being Forever Happy. This isn't Stepford this is Earth, not to mention it's Kinda why I Rejected my Antidepressant, 2 Days of it made me Numb but I Appeared Happy. That's Not Truly being Alive, you have to Feel Sad and Angry at times, it's what Makes you Human. Never let Somebody try to Force you to Feel a Certain way. In a Twisted way, being on Cymbalta for 2 Days made me Realize while I may be Deeply Sad, I have to Feel that way and Go through Pain, the Alternative would be Living Death, let alone an Empty Slate to be Manipulated by those in the Mental Health System who would Prolong your Suffering. Honestly I feel I lack Issues a Majority of my Sadness comes from how Local Society, Family and even Friends have Treated me and thus made me Feel I had Issues when it was Truly Them. The only Problem is that I should have been Born a Cis Girl, but Nature and the World seems Against me, Regardless they will Fail as I believe in Self Determinism and will have my Surgery regardless of what Happens. Traveling Abroad will require Funds but it Shall be Better than Relying on the Standards of "Care" who Required me to be in Therapy which Proved more Detrimental to my Mental Health not to Mention Gender Therapists are No Better as they're Double Agents who Expect you to Conform to their Way of Thinking to Essentially Talk you Out of Life Saving Surgery and Medications. If somebody Claims your Depressed, ask them and Ask Yourself Why and come up with a Solution and you'll Find Renewed Purpose and your Own Happiness that Doesn't Come in a Pill made with Ungodly Intents.

I also played The Minish Cap, there's something about Dark Hyrule Castle that I find Incredibly Beautiful, I suppose it has to do with Purple being my Second Favorite Color next to Pastel Pink. I Hate the Color Blue, especially Dark Blue, it's Ugly and Boorish. Not to mention the Music in this Dungeon is Incredibly Breathtaking. There's something about the Violin that I enjoy, then again I've Included Violins and Pianos in my 72 Symphonies that I wrote via Finale and Published on a Certain Music Site that's been Lost to Time. Dad assumed I was Playing Games or Watching Let's Plays when they were Decoys to Hide my Composition that I published under my True Name Elizabeth R. Figura. He had Zero Clue why his Search History was Cleared, he had Ideas but they were Incorrect as I was really Me on the Internet long before Coming Out a Year Later Spring of 2011. Yep I was a Musician at 13, I truly question if he Would've been Proud of me if he Knew the Amount of Work that I've Put my Mind to.

The last game I played this evening was Phantom Hourglass, this game was actually a Game I didn't Play until Last Year the same with Spirit Tracks. I do recall my Friend Dad letting me Play it in Paupak's Partial Program although I found the Controls Strange. I suppose I'm more Comfortable Playing Games on a Computer as Controllers including Handheld ones are quite Cumbersome. I always have been a PC Gamer deep down, heck it was my Introduction to Games back when I was 3. Astrid is my Favorite Character mostly due to her Soothsaying, I can Relate as I'm Well Aware of things to Come but I Try to Live Day by Day to Avoid such Troubles. I wouldn't say I'm Psychic as much as Good at Psychology as well as Predicting from People and even Communities Histories and Reactions to Various Things.

I'm gonna get my Nightcap Prepared soon, then I'm gonna Write my Night Time Entry and get some Rest.-Elizabeth